bucket list: a list of things to do before you die
Right now it is 10:41pm at night and I am standing here exhausted, with one hand on my hip and the other picking away at the key board. I have been this way for the past 20 or so minutes. I think my foot may be asleep. but I don't want to move, mainly because this is the first time I've stopped moving in the past week and a half. My body is still. My brain, however, is beyond preoccupied with all the junk I have to get done before I head back to school. So far I've spent 4 hours at the DMV, $397.25 on textbooks, and far too much energy worrying about things that aren't worth worrying about. And in lieu of doing all the things I should be doing, I am going to stand here, still, and type a list of all the things I'd rather be doing...
in other words, here is my bucket list:
See a firefly*
Send a postcard from the following places- Austin TX, San Francisco CA, New York NY* (it's too smelly for me), Ecuador*, Washington D.C.*, Japan, France, Spain, Budapest, Ireland, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Iceland, Morocco, Vegas for NFR[], Florida[], Main to go crabbing/lobstering, Alaska to go salmon fishing, Italy, Hawaii*, x-country America*, x-country Canada, the moon
...actually I've decided to visit all the factories/head quarters of my favorite products (more on this to come)
Obtain my MLIS []
USFA OTS- Commissioned Communication and Information Officer []
Name all my pets after other animals []
Restore a piano
Learn to fly fish*...and actually catch something
learn to crochet*...then yarn bomb []
Grow a garden
Join a roller derby league*
Get a tattoo (or 2 or 3 or 4* or 5) []
Build a rat rod (requires me to learn to weld...also own a black 1970 Fleetwood Cadillac or a dusty pink Nova SS)
Learn to make killer mashed potatoes []
Become a notary
Punch someone in the face and mean it
Start a mixed CD group or a book club
Drive in a demolition derby
Get divorced (it’s inevitable). And maybe after I could date a man with a wallet chain and long hair. Better yet, just marry Eddie Vedder.
Destroy something important (demolish a building, ruin a marriage, infiltrate and bring down a syndicate)
Celebrate my 100th b-day (and still be healthy enough to eat the cake with my own teeth)
Live straight edge*
Kick depression in the shin []
Go to the opera in my pj’s
Hike Mt. St. Helens
Become fluent in another language (Spanish,* Sign Language)
Stay sassy []
Participate in a Historical Reenactment
Start a band/learn to be a better percussionist and keyboardist/learn the steel pedal guitar and accordion
Learn to square dance (really I just want to wear a big puffy skirt)
Die my hair red
Live where the stars are as big as silver dollars
* = already completed
[] = in progress
8/27/10
8/19/10
on my mind...
hooray for making out! more to come on this later :)
update 9/1/10: to K regarding her comment- "ncmo!" (for anyone who is unfamiliar with this term it means "non committal make out." oh you Mormons. how I love you!! you're good people.
update 9/1/10: to K regarding her comment- "ncmo!" (for anyone who is unfamiliar with this term it means "non committal make out." oh you Mormons. how I love you!! you're good people.
8/18/10
demolition derby
demolition derby: my life's ambition (or at least one of them). no really, demo derby is a motor sport with rules varying depending upon the event, but typically demolition derbies consist of five or more drivers competing by deliberately ramming their vehicles into one another. The last driver whose vehicle is still operational is victorious!
possibly the most entertaining demo derby event is BOAT RACING! This event is considered a "banger race", where drivers have both a vehicle and a boat attached without trailer, they then race around the track trying to annihilate as much as possible along the way. And don't worry, if you loose your boat, you can always push one around.
Saturday night we took my nieces to the Meridian Speedway to see my friend Gill drive in said event. It's funny, my two-year-old niece loved everything about the night. Every time a loud hit happened, she'd turn to me with wide eyes and purse her lips together saying, "ooooh!" But my six-year-old niece, the bigger one, was terrified the entire time. I don't think she likes loud noises. Anyway, Gill had a couple of epic spins, but burned out quickly. For sure I'll bake him some cookies to cheer up! There was once talk of doing so in exchange for a tattoo, but I'll do it sans tattoo now. During the race my sister leaned over our shared nachos and insisted, "Monique, you should text Gill!" And I responded, "I think of all the times to text and drive, now would be the least appropriate time to do so." We both started laughing hysterically. Soon after the race ended we decided that once Alby's car goes to the clunker gods (it's getting there) we're going to paint it pink and then enter a demolition derby! Raaaawr!! sorry, I really felt like growling. Demolition derbies will do that to you. You'll walk away wanting to destroy something, anything really. I just ended up vigorously ripping apart a post-it note I found on the bottom floor of my car, Hulk style.
perfect! I've been wanting an excuse to use this old political cartoon from the last presidential election. Now seems fitting...
possibly the most entertaining demo derby event is BOAT RACING! This event is considered a "banger race", where drivers have both a vehicle and a boat attached without trailer, they then race around the track trying to annihilate as much as possible along the way. And don't worry, if you loose your boat, you can always push one around.
Saturday night we took my nieces to the Meridian Speedway to see my friend Gill drive in said event. It's funny, my two-year-old niece loved everything about the night. Every time a loud hit happened, she'd turn to me with wide eyes and purse her lips together saying, "ooooh!" But my six-year-old niece, the bigger one, was terrified the entire time. I don't think she likes loud noises. Anyway, Gill had a couple of epic spins, but burned out quickly. For sure I'll bake him some cookies to cheer up! There was once talk of doing so in exchange for a tattoo, but I'll do it sans tattoo now. During the race my sister leaned over our shared nachos and insisted, "Monique, you should text Gill!" And I responded, "I think of all the times to text and drive, now would be the least appropriate time to do so." We both started laughing hysterically. Soon after the race ended we decided that once Alby's car goes to the clunker gods (it's getting there) we're going to paint it pink and then enter a demolition derby! Raaaawr!! sorry, I really felt like growling. Demolition derbies will do that to you. You'll walk away wanting to destroy something, anything really. I just ended up vigorously ripping apart a post-it note I found on the bottom floor of my car, Hulk style.
8/14/10
Social Distortion
Their iconic logo representing lead singer, Mike Ness' struggle with drug addiction.
Social D, Social D, SOCIAL Deeeeeeeeeee! I may have been mildly excited on Friday to see Social Distortion play live at the Knitting Factory. Who am I kidding, "mildly?" ha! No, I was beyond excited. When Friday arrived, I was sooo eager with anticipation that I easily could have passed out from holding my breath and jumping up and down for so long. Literally, I think I did this all the way from punching out at work to the ticket line. I may have even ran into a parked car in the parking garage because I was so preoccupied with my excitement. When we got to the venue, it was so packed that we had to play Marco-Polo in order to track down Gill. Eventually though, we found him and of course Alby made friend's quick with both Gill and our neighbor's. Not just because they were in such close proximity, but also because she had had a little whiskey before the show. Oh, Alby.
I digress, the set list was fantastic! I always enjoy shows where I can sing the words to every song. Around about the third song, "Prison Bound" I believe, I could feel the euphoria take over. It's a feeling of terror and bliss all at once, where the music shakes your core and your spine trembles with the beat of the base. This euphoric feeling is what I go to shows for. It's honestly the only moment in all my life's experiences where I think about one thing and one thing only, the music that shakes me. It's the only time that I truly feel okay, like the world stopped spinning and all my thoughts and worries just drain from my brain and everything is going to be just fine. So thank you Social D, this feeling was much needed. oh and p.s. thanks for drawing such a sweaty crowd of fans. I don't think I've ever smelled that bad after a show.
The night got even better with our trip to Wendy's. It was about midnight and we had a hankering for delicious chocolate frosties! So we drove up to the drive-through window thinking that they'd be closed. But to our pleasant surprise, they were not!! And well, let's just say I think we scared the Wendy's lady with our gregarious excitement. Oh how I savored that frosty to the very last drop. As I write this, I am reminded of a commercial for Sonic I've seen on TV recently. It highlights how Sonic uses real ice cream in their shakes by showing two guys at a Wendy's drive-through inquiring about what ingredients are in a frosty...and well their whole point is moot because all I want after seeing that commercial is a frosty. a delicious frosty. so delicious.
8/13/10
blind date
blind date: a date between two people who have not previously met. normally not a good idea.
so my family set me up on a blind date last night. It was a double blind date. We ate fish tacos and went bowling. A pretty decent time was had. The guy they set me up with was super attractive, he had an infectious smile, strong stature, and freckles! He also had a wonderful personality, he was chivalrous, funny, laid back. AND YET...I felt crummy for the entire night. At one point he was even sitting right there next to me on the couch and straight up asked if I wanted to make out, which trust me, I wanted to make out...but it would have been awkward. I would have just thought of all the crummy heartache I've been harboring these days, and then the corners of my mouth would have sunk downward. I wish you-know-who'd just leave me alone, get out of my head so I can move on and make out with other people, attractive other people who are sitting right there wanting to make out. I felt sorry for the guy. I wanted to explain to him...so yeah I just had my heart ripped out of my chest by a person I felt deeply for...nothing against you, I just have emotional problems, surprise surprise! I'm tired of feeling like that though. I really don't want to be that girl again, the one with all the heavy baggage. Eff it. I should have made out with him. Wow, I sound like a 13 year old girl right now. Go me.
on a positive note much Social Distortion will be had tonight. AND if I can swing it, I'll get to go see my dear friend Gill drive in a Demolition Derby at Meridian Speedway tomorrow night. Wonderful. Not quite making out, but wonderful nevertheless.
update 8/15/10: to the author of the comment below I say, "trust me, I know"
update 8/19/10: see "on my mind..." post for 8/19/10 :)
so my family set me up on a blind date last night. It was a double blind date. We ate fish tacos and went bowling. A pretty decent time was had. The guy they set me up with was super attractive, he had an infectious smile, strong stature, and freckles! He also had a wonderful personality, he was chivalrous, funny, laid back. AND YET...I felt crummy for the entire night. At one point he was even sitting right there next to me on the couch and straight up asked if I wanted to make out, which trust me, I wanted to make out...but it would have been awkward. I would have just thought of all the crummy heartache I've been harboring these days, and then the corners of my mouth would have sunk downward. I wish you-know-who'd just leave me alone, get out of my head so I can move on and make out with other people, attractive other people who are sitting right there wanting to make out. I felt sorry for the guy. I wanted to explain to him...so yeah I just had my heart ripped out of my chest by a person I felt deeply for...nothing against you, I just have emotional problems, surprise surprise! I'm tired of feeling like that though. I really don't want to be that girl again, the one with all the heavy baggage. Eff it. I should have made out with him. Wow, I sound like a 13 year old girl right now. Go me.
on a positive note much Social Distortion will be had tonight. AND if I can swing it, I'll get to go see my dear friend Gill drive in a Demolition Derby at Meridian Speedway tomorrow night. Wonderful. Not quite making out, but wonderful nevertheless.
update 8/15/10: to the author of the comment below I say, "trust me, I know"
update 8/19/10: see "on my mind..." post for 8/19/10 :)
8/10/10
oreos
oreos: delicious. they're a type of cookie...need I say more?
fucking oreos. so this morning I woke up and groggily worked my way from my bed to the kitchen. In a daze, I got out the box of Oreos, crumbled them into a bowl, poured milk over the top (well I almost poured orange juice by accident, but caught it just in time), and dug in with my spoon. Best part is: I got a text from a friend inquiring about what I was doing at that moment. So I replied, "I may or may not being eating oreos for breakfast. please don't judge me." My friend answered back, "the breakfast of champions!" His reply cracked me up. Really though, if I keep eating oreos for breakfast I'm not going to fit into my pants anymore. I mean it. Lately, it seems like the more sugar and junk I eat the more my heartache/worry/stress diminishes...however, the more weight I gain. I don't gain weight normally though. When I gain weight, I gain it in only two places. My but and my boobs. No joke. So these days none of my bras fit and I get hit on a lot. Makes sense. Man, I kind of want an oreo right about now.
fucking oreos. so this morning I woke up and groggily worked my way from my bed to the kitchen. In a daze, I got out the box of Oreos, crumbled them into a bowl, poured milk over the top (well I almost poured orange juice by accident, but caught it just in time), and dug in with my spoon. Best part is: I got a text from a friend inquiring about what I was doing at that moment. So I replied, "I may or may not being eating oreos for breakfast. please don't judge me." My friend answered back, "the breakfast of champions!" His reply cracked me up. Really though, if I keep eating oreos for breakfast I'm not going to fit into my pants anymore. I mean it. Lately, it seems like the more sugar and junk I eat the more my heartache/worry/stress diminishes...however, the more weight I gain. I don't gain weight normally though. When I gain weight, I gain it in only two places. My but and my boobs. No joke. So these days none of my bras fit and I get hit on a lot. Makes sense. Man, I kind of want an oreo right about now.
regret
regret: : to mourn the loss or death of, to miss very much, to be very sorry for
I have many regrets I have in life, just opportunities I wished I had explored more. I am not particularly mournful about missing these opportunities, just a touch disappointed. I mean, what if I had had the courage enough to pull myself out of the solid gray misery that I wear like a Kevlar vest, impermeable to humanity's crap. I would have moved on a long time ago, forgotten your face in time to do what I should have been doing all along. I would have gone to Henry Rollins and Mayhem Fest, I would have fucked (sorry for my vulgarity) that guy who works at the pharmacy, I would have started skating a lot sooner, I would have fly fished in the Boise River, I would have gone to more toastmasters club meetings and eaten a fuck load of macaroni n cheese, I would have DDed for Gill during Jaialdi and laughed at all the elated drunk people, I would have learned to square dance, I would have slashed your tires. Hummm, I did do quite a few of these things, but I did them while wearing my Kevlar vest, I did them dead on the outside, broken on the in.
Reflecting on this, insomnia has overcome me. It's one of those nights where sleep has eluded every part of my being. I am antsy. My big sister is kind enough to sit up and she's keeping me company. Oh how she loves me! I mean, I could clearly see she is struggling to stay awake and yet she insists. Were sitting on the couch, the flickering light of a movie freckles our faces. Now the credits are rolling, and I hug my knees to my chest, proclaiming with a yawn, "so this is it then? I vow never again to date a soul-sucking un-motivate jackass. THIS time I mean it." Being the supportive sister she is, Alby just laughs, shakes her head, and sleepily says, "right, Monique." I have a feeling she's being facetious. I suppose I still have a lot of un-motivated jackasses (not saying that that's all you were to me, but in this moment that's how it seems) to go through in life. eff. and here I thought I already had my share. oh good gawd and to think that I've got a date with a tattoo artist later this week. but really, double eff. I can see the truth of it all now. can I say triple eff? yup. triple eff! Next time I'll be sure to take off the Kevlar and make do and mend. Inspired, I made a playlist before I doze off on the couch. It's entitled "The Shit We Call Love":
0. "I Am Always the One Who Calls" Pedro the Lion
1. "Blankest Year" Nada Surf
2. "What If" ColdPlay
3. "Roulette" System of a Down
4. "Self Esteem" Offspring
5. "Let's Go To Bed" The Cure
6. "Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" Korn (don't judge...I needed an angry song and this is the one I came up with)
7. "Keep My Picture!" Horrorpops
8. "Honest Goodbye" Bad Religion
9. "The Film Did Not Go Round" Nada Surf
10. "Old Friend" Rancid
11. "What If I Knew" Dino Jr
12. "Listen to My Heart" The Ramones
13. "Starting Now" Ingrid Michaelson
14. "Either Way" Wilco
14 1/2. "Must Be Wrong" The Rentals
I have many regrets I have in life, just opportunities I wished I had explored more. I am not particularly mournful about missing these opportunities, just a touch disappointed. I mean, what if I had had the courage enough to pull myself out of the solid gray misery that I wear like a Kevlar vest, impermeable to humanity's crap. I would have moved on a long time ago, forgotten your face in time to do what I should have been doing all along. I would have gone to Henry Rollins and Mayhem Fest, I would have fucked (sorry for my vulgarity) that guy who works at the pharmacy, I would have started skating a lot sooner, I would have fly fished in the Boise River, I would have gone to more toastmasters club meetings and eaten a fuck load of macaroni n cheese, I would have DDed for Gill during Jaialdi and laughed at all the elated drunk people, I would have learned to square dance, I would have slashed your tires. Hummm, I did do quite a few of these things, but I did them while wearing my Kevlar vest, I did them dead on the outside, broken on the in.
Reflecting on this, insomnia has overcome me. It's one of those nights where sleep has eluded every part of my being. I am antsy. My big sister is kind enough to sit up and she's keeping me company. Oh how she loves me! I mean, I could clearly see she is struggling to stay awake and yet she insists. Were sitting on the couch, the flickering light of a movie freckles our faces. Now the credits are rolling, and I hug my knees to my chest, proclaiming with a yawn, "so this is it then? I vow never again to date a soul-sucking un-motivate jackass. THIS time I mean it." Being the supportive sister she is, Alby just laughs, shakes her head, and sleepily says, "right, Monique." I have a feeling she's being facetious. I suppose I still have a lot of un-motivated jackasses (not saying that that's all you were to me, but in this moment that's how it seems) to go through in life. eff. and here I thought I already had my share. oh good gawd and to think that I've got a date with a tattoo artist later this week. but really, double eff. I can see the truth of it all now. can I say triple eff? yup. triple eff! Next time I'll be sure to take off the Kevlar and make do and mend. Inspired, I made a playlist before I doze off on the couch. It's entitled "The Shit We Call Love":
0. "I Am Always the One Who Calls" Pedro the Lion
1. "Blankest Year" Nada Surf
2. "What If" ColdPlay
3. "Roulette" System of a Down
4. "Self Esteem" Offspring
5. "Let's Go To Bed" The Cure
6. "Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" Korn (don't judge...I needed an angry song and this is the one I came up with)
7. "Keep My Picture!" Horrorpops
8. "Honest Goodbye" Bad Religion
9. "The Film Did Not Go Round" Nada Surf
10. "Old Friend" Rancid
11. "What If I Knew" Dino Jr
12. "Listen to My Heart" The Ramones
13. "Starting Now" Ingrid Michaelson
14. "Either Way" Wilco
14 1/2. "Must Be Wrong" The Rentals
8/8/10
roller derby
I went to a roller derby bout yesterday. ate some onion rings, sipped from my rootbeer, yelled at a ref or two, and watched gals rip it up on skates. It was Ah-mazing. A gory-ious and glorious night. I took Alby. We decided she'd steal the name "Alby B. Chyourass" if she were ever a derby girl. I have yet to craft a name, need to be drafted from wreck to a team first. oh man am I excited for my new skates to arrive. these ones will last more than a season. hopefully. I have been patiently awaiting, like a kid before Christmas. oooh and I found these skate socks online :)
too bad I'm broke. woot.
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