motherfucker

motherfucker: self explanatory swear word, surprisingly in Microsoft Office spell check. I have more than likely already used this as a post title, oh well.

Humph. I'm tired of dating people who look down upon the fact that I cuss. No more editing, no more turning "fuck" into "fudge," no more apologizing after the fact like it's going to offend everyone and all their precious golden sensitive ears. Fuuuuck Your Precious Golden Sensitive Ears. Te he. In the words of hyperbole and a half blog author (best blog ever), I offer this explanation...

Q: Will you stop using swear words?

A: [No.] I like swear words. I think they can be really funny. I try to use them sparingly because I know that some people don't feel the same way, but sometimes a sentence just needs the word "motherfucker" in it. If I've used a swear word, I have probably thought long and hard about whether it was necessary and decided that it was. In my opinion, they are just words and should not be given so much power. However, I understand that some of you wish to share my posts with your children and not everyone feels comfortable with their children knowing the word "fuck." In that case, I give you full permission to transfer my posts to a word document and erase the offending words or print the post out and black out the "fucks" and "shits" and "motherfuckers." And I apologize if my use of these words has offended you in any way. but seriously, saying "motherfucker" just makes the day brighter :P

cake!

I loooove Hyperbole and a Half. I can relate to every story she shares.

on my mind...

Grad school is not necessarily academically rigorous, but instead mind-numbingly time consuming.  Something needs to give. I cannot keep working 40 hours and trying to do school on top of it all.

And the cherry garnish, you ask? Well that comes in the flavor of being perpetually sick with step throat.  The folks at urgent care on Broadway know me by name now.  Pretty sure they think I'm dealing antibiotics or something nefarious.

on my mind...

stop this hate, I just want to roller skate. I don't want to see another shrink, just hang out at the roller rink. xoxox.

bout

bout: what roller derby matches/games are called; period of intense activity of a specified kind

First HOME bout with TVR today! Beyond excited.  It's a "pink and green bout," meaning it's the last season inter-league bout. Feels like Christmas/I need to puke because of all the anticipation. You can get tickets from me ($10) or from one of our sponsors.

update: pictures!

 

cock-knocker

cocknocker: I don't really know the definition 100%, but people say it all the time as an insult in Canada. You cocknocker! It's just good clean, err, good fun to say

This past weekend we drove two stretches over 8 hours each to get to Edmonton, Alberta in Canada.  Why you ask...well to strap on our skates and roll around in circle, maybe get a few bruises and cracked ribs of course.  We lost our bout, but it sure was a blast.  I was inside my own head the whole bout, still getting used to the wheels I bought in September.  At one point on the trip we had stopped at Canada's version of Costco for snacks, etc.  As I was walking out of the store, I turned to look back and saw Rampage trying to exit the entrance, then she got wildly distracted by a large display of canned maple beans, "Oh my gosh beans! I need these."  She shoveled 4 or 5 cans into her arms, stuffed one down her shirt and ran back into the store to pay.  Ha! And to think this lovely lady is perhaps one of the jammers I respect most and even want to emulate. Damn, she's got skill, but is bat shit crazy, cracks me up.  The rest of the weekend is freckled, no, filled to the brim with stories like this. 

P.s. never have I seen Highway that intoxicated before.  On the drive up, there was construction traffic at 1am! and what did Highway do? She got out and peed in the middle of the road, not the side, but the middle, then waved to the semi truck driver in front of us.  And to think, they made fun of me for talking about quail while I was sleeping in the backseat!! Who's crazy now.  Well, I guess we are all. It's a prerequisite in derby, you have to be fucked up and broken even before you can skate.

Right after we ate (most delicious GF buttered noodles I have ever had) in Missoula, MT

 

Like a boss! Probably the only thing I did right that whole bout

Fine art in the powder room at the Calgary Motel 6

Thanks Oil City!