let's just say...

had a counseling appointment today. that's it then. I'm gunna go listen to Rob Zombie and work on moving horizontally, whatever the fuck that means.

ameliorate

ameliorate: to make or grow better, to improve

I would confidently say that this weekend was ameliorative for my mood considering...

I lost my favorite black studded belt and went and waded through a sea of Saturday shoppers and bought a new one, only to find it the next morning.

And then at derby practice I was punitively sucker-punched in the boob.  During one drill, gawd forbid,  I toe-stopped instead of t-stopped and my coach came up real close and ordered me to put my hand out.  So I put my hand out, and prepared myself for her to vapidly smack my hand.  But then she smacked me in the boob instead. It hurt. Later during practice I was told a "grand slam" is a delicious breakfast at Denny's.  I also got three nifty new bruises!  And to think, I did this all while wearing hot shorts and knee high socks...who needs a crapy boyfriend when you've got roller derby?!

but I am most proud of the following...

While grocery shopping, I successfully walked by the Halloween candy display at Fred Meyer's without buying anything. Success! Usually I have mush for will power, like mashed potatoes. I just melt the minute they pour butter over me. Take for example the other morning on my way to class, I had a package of reese's peanut butter cups in my bag and took one out and ate it, then tried for the life of me to save the other.  But honestly, its destiny was doomed as soon as I put it in my bag.  The poor thing never even made it to my next class and all because of my non-existant will power.

Also, I'm proud of my keen decision making skills.  I think it was Wednesday night, I heard a strange beeping noise coming form the hall of my apartment complex…and I seriously considered getting out of bed but I choose to perish in the flames instead. This was a quality decision because not only was I sleepy and apathetic but also when I woke up in the morning, I was still alive.

9/21/10 In regards to K's comment: you make a fantastic point! however, even if they were called "mud enemies," I'd probably still eat them. and besides, I figure if all else fails in life, I'll just get a job hosting a tv show like "Kid in a Candy Store." delicious!

snow day (in September!)

snow day: when an institution, operation, or event is closed, canceled, or delayed as a result of inclement weather conditions, i.e. there's too much snow to go to school! a concept that, apparently, if you live outside the North West you don't understand. also my favorite day of the year (better than any holiday)!

okay, although it didn't actually snow, today is a virtual snow day! This morning my COMM 301 class was canceled and my work supervisor called in sick. So...SNOW DAY!!! I'm going to take this moment to relish all the free time I have. I think I've forgotten what free time is though. Free time? What is that? I guess I will find out as my day unfolds.  And of course, I'll keep you posted.

update 9/16/10 4:47pm: my day has since consisted of studying for the GRE (seeing that's only a month away as of today. scary!), watching random t.v. shows on hulu, and skating around my building out of boredom. woah, do I know how to suck the progress right out of a day. maybe I'll take a nap now. mmm. tempting.

 
update 9/16/10 9:15pm: I chose a new desktop picture for my computer...it's the coolest. Abe Lincoln in fisticuffs with Sasquash. better yet, I'll just show you >>>


p.s. did you know that Abe Lincoln is the only agnostic president of the U.S.? Props to him, he's slowly starting to supplant/supersede Teddy R as my favorite president. 

novel

novel: of a new kind; different from anything seen or known before

so Fred and I moved into an on-campus apartment this semester. and as a house-warming gift, my step-dad bought me the most novel invention, a microwave egg poacher! This thing is the coolest!! Thanks dad! oh and one thing's for sure, I'm not allowed to go to nordicware website site. It's like the humane society website, I just end up clicking on all the cute puppies I want to adopt (or in this case all the kitchen gadgets I want to buy) and then woosh there goes two hours of my time.

ncmo

ncmo: acronym for "non-committal make out"

so about making out...

I had a crummy day.  Worked a double shift.  Head was pounding.  Couldn't sleep.  I was watching late night news on channel 6 to kill time when, unexpectedly, my phone buzzed.  Someone was texting me.  Their message simply said, "I heard you had a bad day." It took me a moment to figure out who it was. Finally, I realized it was Ryan, one of my sister's co-workers that she set me up with recently.  I replied politely and went back to banging the remote against my forehead in an effort to alleviate pain.  Suddenly, our text conversation weirdly escalated to Ryan saying, "I'm on my way over to make out, should I not be?" At this point I was baffled.  My phone buzzed again, "I'm in your building's parking lot."  I texted, "I'll come down and meet you."  It took me awhile though because I couldn't find any pants.  Eventually, I found a pair of jeans and walked him back to our apartment.  Later Ryan told me, "you really didn't need to put on pants." True, this is true.

Thinking about it, what kind of person is crazy enough to come over just to make out with me and relieve my stress? and only after meeting me for the third-ish time! Ridiculous. I thought it was a nice gesture. Hopefully that doesn't make me a skank. Probably does. Oh well. Thanks Ryan...I think?

update: hummm. I've decided that being a good kisser is a curse. Don't get me wrong, I like making-out just as much as the next gal, but so far, I've only found one person on par and, well, let's not talk about that wound because it has yet to heal.

pagophagia

pagophagia: a form of the disorder pica involving the compulsive consumption of ice or iced drinks. It has been associated with iron deficiency anemia, anger issues, and sexual tension.

here's the thing about ice cubes...
eventually they melt,
slowly but surely
and quite possibly inconspicuously

so, drink your tall glass of hidden despair and inverted anguish
and with each naive sip go ahead and believe all the fallacies that motivate your ramshackle cravings,
convince yourself that ice cubes will forever be there, cool and supportive
hydrating the parched voids in your life,
but the more you blow hot air on them,
the faster the melting process becomes
and eventually you have no more ice cubes to plunder

tired of your hot air,
tired of your selfish need to suck on all my ice cubes,
I melted,
and now I'm drained
and you are too

just remember,
in your furiously frantic search for new ice cubes,
try freezing them
because It's all nice on ice alright.

p.s. I need to stay away from 25-year-old aries, the last three have not been good for me. no, they have not :( and that's right three of them...I think I have a thing.

rink rash

rink rash: bruises, contusions, red burn, scrapes, scratches, etc. that a skater gets after falling while playing roller derby.

you can see my toes in the bottom left corner!

tonight I pulled on my skull and cross bone socks, laced up my skates and hit the rink for derby practice. It was invigorating! I'm glad I can now confidently say that if I ever fall down again (in derby and in life), I'll just get back up, skate with furry after whoever made me fall, and punch them in the face, then later on I'll brag about the giant bruise that now adorns my thigh...seriously it looks like China or maybe Yogi Bear if you tilt you head to the left. p.s. I am such a dork "hi my name is Monique, I wanna be a Librarian, I play roller derby, and get excited about things like breakfast cereal and having my thesis nominated for honors status"

anything with a sticker of Elvis get my approval