Drunk Alby and Just-Woke-Up Alby are surprisingly similar people.
"Do you want to go Chrrrrristmas shopping?" I knew it. I had called too early in the morning. Damn. She was talking in that silly voice again, "Do you want to go Chrrrristmas shopping dear sister? I just ate an entire bag of biscotee. Do YOU want to go Christmas shopping with me, your beautiful sister?" Fine. Fine. I will go Christmas shopping. Stop asking. Grumble grumble. I am only do this to avoid the bobbery that would ensue, like being punched in the boob.
The rest of the day was spent receiving absurd looks from other customers and cashiers. Apparently, we talk about not so normal things in the checkout line. My favorite was, "I'm like 20% lesbian already, so I might as well work on it." "Makes sense to me." Nervous chuckle from our cashier. We also texted Mom a cascade of random photos of random things in random places; a taste of her own medicine. She secretly loved it though. And if I hear the words, "What should I get so-and-so" or "What do you want for Christmas" one more time...
fire, death, destruction. All will be black. Quit asking me for Pete's sake!
Here, here, here you go, these are my favorite things, these are things I need:
- Costco-sized bag of Gold Star Jasmine Rice
- Boise Opera Tickets/Seattle Ballet Tickets, if you really love me you'd get me a season pass :)
- Wax skate laces from derbysupply.net (better yet, a healed ankle, you can fix broken bones magically, right?)
- Miscellaneous kitchen things that are M.I.A. (pastry cutter, basting brush, cast iron pan, tupper wear/lunch box that Gill stole from me/I keep forgetting to get from him, knife set, don't even ask me how I lost an entire knife set)
- New blow dryer, curling iron (both died on me, in a tragic accident)
- When in doubt, anything with sparkles, a pin-up on it, smells like lavender/ginger, or was made 50 years ago, headphones too. I can always use headphones and socks! I go through these the most in life. Well that and crappy boyfriends.
- Actually, this is kind of fun. I also like big pearl earrings, ice cream, root beer, ice cream and root beer together, I believe they call that a "float," those sea monkey pets we used to get when I was little, Eddie Vedder's hand in marriage, Bonnebell cherry lip gloss, green apple gum, Lion brand yarn, purple inked pens from Paper<3<3Mate
- Scratch everything, if you can't do the following, don't even bother with a gift
just kidding. Sort of. I would be content making cookies in your company.
I have even put some serious thought into what I will be attempting to bake. see subsequent post to come.
All said and done, I accomplished most of my shopping. There are stickers involved. Lots of stickers. You have been warned.
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