quotidian

quotidian: of or occurring every day; daily; ordinary; mundane

I've started doing this thing with my nieces where I ask them what the best part of their day was.  Mad (Madison, 4) hasn't quite grasped the concept. The activity just fuels the fire of crazy and illogical that she has already judged me to be, regardless of my numerous  and very logical explanations. Take for example, yesterday I came over in the morning to watch the girls and Dean while Jess went to the doctor for a sinus infection. I was fishing all the marshmallows out of the lucky charms box while Mad was staring at me sleepily in her footed pj's. Our conversation went something like this...

Me- "What did you do yesterday, Mad?"

Her- "Nuh-thing."

Me- "Well, if you had to pick one thing, what was the best part of your day yesterday?"

Her- "Moneeek! But I didn't do anything yesterday."

Me- "You didn't do ANYTHING! Not even breathe or blink?!"

Her- "Pretty much."  Grabs a handful of marshmallows and tromps away.

Lol. Four-year-olds are my favorite people.

Ry (Ryleigh, 9) on the other hand loves this question. Her answers are usually saturated in elementary school friend dramatics and shaped by a change of heart every couple of seconds.  Our conversations sometimes lead to serious life realizations, the kind that you wish their hearts would never have to weather. For example, the other night we went to the pumpkin patch (pictures below) and Ry told me that her favorite part of the day hadn't come yet.  She was excited to carve the pumpkins.  It was late and I knew full well that we weren't going to carve pumpkins.  She teared-up.  Jess and I had to explain to her that disappointment is a huge, gigantic part of life, and that just because she's going to feel it form time to time, she shouldn't let it impede her from having hopes and getting excited.  Both Jess and I grew up with a lot of disappointment in our lives, to the point where it hardens you, turns you into a zombie (no Halloween pun intended), and it hasn't been until recently that we've both learned to be vulnerable to disappointment again. It's the scary shit (sorry, so many Halloween words up in here) that counts.  What's the phrase, go bit or go home.  Corny, but true.  You'll never accomplish anything if you live in fear of disappointment. I think it was Escher that said, "Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible." And that takes strength. Now only to get myself to fully live that.

Anyway, this questions is working to bring more presence into our lives. I ask both the girls and myself, helps me climb out of the pessimistic shell I can cower beneath. Focus on what I find good and alluring.

 

Dean think that headbands can be worn like sun glasses

heteronomy

heteronomy: refers to action that is influenced by a force outside the individual. Immanuel Kant, drawing on Jean-Jacques Rousseau, considered such an action nonmoral. It is the counter-opposite of autonomy. Philosopher Cornelius Castoriadis contrasted heteronomy from autonomy in noting that while all societies create their own institutions (laws, traditions and behaviors), autonomous societies are those in which their members are aware of this fact, and explicitly self-institute (αυτο-νομούνται). In contrast, the members of heteronomous societies (hetero = others) attribute their imaginaries to some extra-social authority (e.g., God, the state, ancestors, historical necessity, etc.). (From Wikipedia)

in other words, what society thinks is "normal."

Normal. Uck. There's a word I loathe.  For a long time I tried, even longed, to be normal, but after so many situations gone awry, I finally decided that heteronomy is not really my cup of tea. I enjoy self autonomy too much...or maybe I'm just too crazy to fit into the conformations of the masses.

That's not to say that I'm wildly different than other people in my community, our society.  It is to say, however, that I have a little more courage than most people, courage to be genuine and unabashed, even if it goes against the grain.

So, the other night at work, Macy's, a little boy of about 8 years of age came up to the counter with his mom and started talking about his life goals. Love it! He asked me to ask him what he was going to be when he grew up, so I asked and what did he say?...he said that he's "going to do Scentsy!" Double love it! In a world where selling home candle warmers falls on the woman's side of heteronormativity, it's refreshing to see a boy justify wanting to work in such a profession.  He went on and on about how his aunt sells Scentsy and how you can be your own boss and how he loves all the different scents and wants other people to love them too. The best part of this was that his mom seemed supportive and proud...grant it he's only 8, but still I think the world needs more people to encourage autonomy, even in the face of adversity. So right on! March to the beat of your own drum.


The one thing I wish I could have told that little boy is that sticking with his unique courage to be unabashed will prove difficult.  People will right you off as crazy, people will even pull away from you because what you stand for, what you like, think, and feel makes them uncomfortable.  These people will break your heart, will let you down, and might even bully you. I have firsthand experience.  Don't let it eat at you.  Being your own person, thinking for yourself is a scary and courageous thing.  Stick with it and you might just reshape heteronomy a little, making it easier for future generations.

Speaking of Scentsy, look at the adorable warmer I bought!