tersely

tersely: brief and to the point; effectively concise

hmm, wish I could do things tersely. but no.

I’d rather not talk about moving to Boise. Too stressful. So, let’s give "tersely" a shot and leave it at, I ate a really delicious salad from hotel room service and I, for the first time in my life, experienced two thoughts at once.

oh. no. I feel a loquacious ramble coming on...

That being said, I am safe and soundly moved into a house and am working my old job at Albertsons until I find a better paying position with a more consistent schedule.

Dun dun dun. I got a phone call from the Lt. at McCord Air Force base today. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I’ve got options. So, pretty much he told me that I am a strong candidate, except for my AFOQT scores are a little low and that I am a little young to have been selected. He let me know that with only a 9% selection rate, candidates who get selected are usually in their mid to late twenties and already have some managerial experience. So needless to say, I was not selected for this year’s officer training board.

This, although disappointing, does not mean the end of the world. The application process alone has made me reconsider, and to some extent solidify, my values. I’ve realized that I need and want a career in uniform (not necessarily military, but along the same lines) and that I am young and should seek more life-experience and world travel with a purpose. So as for my options, I can retake the AFOQT and reapply in any of the coming years. But, I think my game plan has shifted now. It’s not necessarily plan B…more like plan ½ of A. I am moving to Boise and starting graduate school in the fall and will use the next two to three years to earn my MLIS, gain managerial/leadership experience, and well, shenanigan-around and about. I’ve been so driven the last few years that I think it’s high time to take more unexpected opportunities. When I informed my sister of this, she said, “Please don’t get pregnant.” Don’t worry, I have no plans of pregnancy (at least not until I am well into my 30’s and maybe even indefinitely- don’t tell my mother). And that’s not what I mean anyway. What I mean is that I need time to dick around. I need to skate derby, sit on the roof with a lawn chair and fireworks, knit-bomb*, giggle at my siblings when they’ve had too many twisted-teas, have absurd conversations with my niece about anything and everything, bake cookies at one am in the morning and burn the char that has been building up like black guck on the sides of my brain these past few years. I know that an earlier version of my-self would have panicked at the thought of this; they would have cowered in defeat at the apparent stagnant-ization of progress.

I’m 22 and sometimes, most times actually, I think I’m 40 and in the middle of a quarter-life crisis, and other times I feel blue and like life sucks balls. But truth is, it doesn’t, and even if it does there are things about it, good and bad, that make that blue turn grey turn white, and make things oddly peace in all the chaos. This, this is what I need. I need time to remember what’s like to be spunky, to be curious, to be okay…with everything. In fact, I need time to just exist. I’ll work, I’ll go to school, I’ll have my goals, I’ll still be tenacious and driven and dramatic, but lighthearted this go-around. I do indeed want to accomplish all my goals, but later rather than sooner. Take my time and ensure that I’ll make it, spunky as ever, to my 40^th and then 80^th and then 100^th year, one of those grandmas that plays bingo and wears the giant plastic sunglasses and curly-q visors and gobs of fake jewelry and power walks with her pals, one of those that still has a glow to her face and a zest in all she does.

*for more on knit-bombing see earlier post...

oh and...as for the two thoughts at once...I normally have a lot of back burners on in my mind. How I think is like a rapid fire gun, I grab, grab, grab thoughts from a giant floating cloud. But I never really think two thoughts at the same exact time. Never have I heard my brain's voice speak two words simultaneously, that is until I was driving and thought, AT THE SAME TIME, "i've never been tot hat rest stop before" and "I've never been to that Mexican restaurant before." This is silly, but I thought it was profound at the time and will probably continue to condition my brain to think like this, or maybe not. Thinking get's me into trouble sometimes. The brain, what a crazy thing it is.