Ugh. These feelings I am having, they are abstruse at best. I should be rejoicing, celebrating the accomplishment of getting into grad school, relishing the opportunities that now lie before me. But in all honesty, there is something missing. The same "keep your nose to the grind stone" motivation that got me through my undergraduate program seems to be exhausted. I used it all up during the last four, no, the last sixteen years of my academic life.
Now I'm in Seattle, on the UW campus for orientation. It's grey and everything is so...underwhelming...so underwhelming, in fact, that it seems to be overwhelming. That's paradoxical, I know, but I'll go with it anyway. The golden question is, how long will it take me to make it though this degree? Double ugh.
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| see? Grey, I told you, everything is grey, stupid Puget Sound |
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| This is my future: cat-eyed glasses and a beehive! |
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| Okay, sometimes it's not grey |
On the upside of things, Nancy and her husband, Colin let me stay with them for the extended weekend. I ate chicken curry, spoke a little Spanish, went to rainy soccer practice, and got lectured in a British accent (Colin is verbose, quite like myself, and it was less of a lecture and more of advice, I suppose). I bought them a stunning orchid as thanks for their hospitality.
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