rules to learn and live by...

if you know what's good for you, you will follow these rules religiously...

1. everything tastes better with pickles
2. never date a man with a lifted vehicle
3. just because of the grammatical plurality on a sign that reads "free samples," doesn't mean you can take more than one :( - aka be considerate of others
4. if you don't have a passenger, don't drive in the carpool lane- aka be honest with yourself and others
5. just put on the tennis-shoes (or skates), lace them up, and workout - you will never regret this
6. the best time to go grocery shopping is super late at night
7. floss daily
8. do everything in life with sincerity, tenacity, class, creativity, and curiosity...I tried to make all the words start with "c," but it didn't work out that way - aka sometimes life doesn't work out the way you think it will
9. do not visit the Humane Society website - aka although your heart may be big enough, your home may not
10. Smile, you're prettier when you do
11. "fuck" is the most versatile word in the English language, but should probably be used sparingly aka- try not curse. fuck.
12. no matter what your older sibling say, trees are not made by construction workers and you cannot start a restaurant with $8 -aka it's alright to ask stupid questions, especially if you're four years old
13. the weight is a gift
14. when the jar says "medium" salsa, what it really means is "will set your mouth on fire, so have a glass of milk near by" - aka always be prepared
15. when in doubt, be sarcastic, no one can tell the difference
16. if still in doubt (or just bored to tears), learn something new - aka hobbies are the greatest
17. if you write a post that says you only get hit on at work, it's probably because you work too much - aka try not to let your workaholic side take control of your life
18. sometimes counting to ten is all it takes

more to come, I promise...