I need a boy like you like a hole in my head

I need a boy like you like a hole in my head: a song lyric from The Dixie Chicks' 1999 release "Fly," the sucky truth

I fell
and hard.
no cartoon band-aid will heal this wound.
I fell
and couldn't get up
it was winter and I laid there motionless
until my brain froze over
I fell
and no one came to help
defeated, I accepted my demise
I fell
and music rained down, vibrating all around, shaking my skeleton skinny
I fell
and when the music stopped, I reached for a can of anti-freeze, defrosted my brain, and told you how I should have eaten the entire cake before my stomach rotted away and fell from my bone
sometimes the most pernicious parts of our personalities are the ones we love the most
you make me sneeze and not in twos



p.s. I don't need this right now, I have two term papers to write and bigger fish to fry. why do you do this to me? fuck off. (wow I don't think I've ever told anybody to fuck off, that's fun).

Update: 12/14/10 6:34am Like a balloon, I let go.

Update: 12/15/10 1:53pm went to lunch with nick at pepinos, you'd think it would have cheered me up, but sadly no. As delicious as the burrito was, my stomach still hurts, I still have a massive headache, and I can't focus long enough to get even one page of my thesis work done. Oh and I couldn't sleep. As I lied there last night, restless in my bed, headphones on and music blaring, I realized that I'm bone tried. I'm tired of people telling me that I "deserve better." What the fuck do you think I'm deserving of? The David, Superman, or some other impossible ideal?  You all just don't get it.  I've never wanted "better," just sincerity, just you as you are (I mean, honesty and dependability don't hurt either). Gosh, I hate being a masochist.